Public toilets

My Brother in law sent me the below email, thinking that it was a good joke! I was stunned... it is the story of my life. It is especially relevant as I am about to embark on a 3 week adventure in Asia, and are close to moving to a country with not many western style toilets.

Subject: The truth about ladies toilets Ladies ....Oh so True! When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a queue of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you proceed in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. The dispenser for the modern "seat covers"(invented by someone's mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your handbag on the door hook, if there were one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly, drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance." (Kangaroo?) In this position, your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." The smell coming from the cubicle next to you, is overwhelming! To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the EMPTY toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mom's voice saying, "If you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your handbag. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your handbag, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your handbag topple backward against the cistern of the toilet. "OCCUPIED!" you scream, as you reach for the door dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly on the TOILET SEAT. It is wet, of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't know WHAT kind of diseases you could get." By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a firehose that somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At that point, you give up. You are soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. Now, you wash your hands then try to work the automatic hand dryer that is conveniently "out of order" so you wipe your hands on your jeans and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. You don't want to touch the door handle because it has "germs"! As you exit, you spot your husband, who has long since entered, used and left the men's toilets. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your handbag hanging around your neck?" This is dedicated to women everywhere who have to deal with public toilets. It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the loos in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your handbag and hand you Kleenex under the door.
I have experienced many different toilets around the world...

• Top of the Eiffel tower- good
• Every toilet in Italy- bad!
• France....Disgusting!
• Hoover dam,USA (port-a loo's) unspeakable!!!!!
• Australia, good, bad and ugly
• China, good and bad beyond description
• USA, strange.( USA have heaps more water than Australian loo's and huge gaps between the door frames.
• Tahiti airport, no doors, male armed guards visible from stalls.
  

I consider my self an average female toilet expert. After a few champagne's a few years ago my sister (extremely good leg muscles- has not touched a non family toilet seat in over 15 years!!!!) and I decided that the next time we visited China we would rather wear ****** or ****** than use the local squat options.

Which it is why I was pleased to discovered this site...

The Bathroom Diaries

travelers leave comments and rate toilets around the world on their data base. You can look up all the locations you will be visiting and know the best place to "visit".

GJ read this and said "Are you for real? This is stupid!" and fell to floor in disbelief when I explained that this is how I feel about public toilets. He thinks I have some serious phobias. Please leave a comment so I can show my darling husband that I am not abnormal!

My little terrors have stuck again!
Thursday night is always cranky night at our house during the school term. This is the last week of term and they are all extra tired. So the 7.00pm bedtime is strictly enforced. Usually if they are good they can watch TV in bed until lights off at 7.30pm. Crankiness was at full volume and at 6.55pm there was a little bellowing coming from me, which meant lights out at 7pm and no TV. The girls decided that their toothbrushes didn'’t go as fast as ours and trotted off to our bathroom, Ben followed as usual.
As I was tucking them in I noticed that Ben looked a little strange and had wonderful fresh breath....…the gagging and vomiting soon started (all over me as per usual).
The girls had let him get into adult toothpaste and Listerine. This is all kept up high out of kids reach; they just got a stool to help themselves.
The worst was that the girls got scared by all the vomiting and noise and denied letting Ben touch anything.
Picture the scene; Ben and I standing in a pool of vomit, glued together with vomit. Ben was screaming and I was shrilly demanding to know what he had consumed.
Girls lying in bed, crying, deny all knowledge of any wrong doing. GJ finally lost it and bellowed at the girls to tell us now!-- Listerine and toothpaste, all dangerous to a toddler. Luckily the projectile vomiting had cleared his system of all the products and he is happy and fine.
It just shows how easily accidents can happen. The spare toiletries are kept in our bathroom cabinet which has a child lock on it and the Listerine is kept on the top shelf of the cupboard right next to the bathroom. I have to reach up to it and I am 5'’7"’. Determined little terrors can always find a way!
So as I usually do when the kids are terrors, I post a photo of the 3 of them looking like little angels.....

Stress, anxiety and packing for 5....

I can't think straight, I am tense and anxious...I have to pack for a family of five for a 3 week overseas holiday. I need an extra suitcase just for the ancillary items,

• night nappies
• wipes
• 1st aid necessities (patterned bandaides!!!!!)
• medicine
• DISINFECTANTS, for hands, surfaces etc
• snacks for kiddies, Georgia believes that she is going to starve as she dislikes rice, soy sauce, peanut sauce, curries and Asian style food. Chelsea is in heaven as she and Ben like all that style of food.
• Bug spray and bite cream
• the right amount of toys and activities to keep the kids amused for a total of 20hrs flight hours.
  
• ETC, ETC, ETC, ETC, etc.

I also am checking and confirming all bookings, paying bills and doing all the many things I do on an ordinary day, plus trying to organize school tours and real estate tours for when we are in Jakarta.
Chelsea had Tuesday and Wednesday off school with a high fever this week, hopefully she will be perfect for next week. I can't even concentrate on writing a blog post. I broke my self imposed weeknight Champagne embargo last night, which means I will break it again tonight as leftovers only last 1 night, even with my supa doopa champagne bottle resealer, and I can't throw away Champagne!!!!!
I am booked in for a total hair cut package on Saturday pm. My hairdresser is also my friend, and Gillian closes the salon after I arrive and we chat all afternoon. Maybe that is why it takes 5-6 hours to cut and colour my hair. Hopefully that will be my rest and down time from this crazed organizing monster I have become.

We leave in 4 days!!!!!!

Blue Bird blog

I discovered this site about 2 months ago and have been desperately desiring to use Susie's services.
Blue Bird blogs offer a blog design services that customized your blog page. The prices are extremely reasonable even when I convert it into Australian dollars.
I use a standard blogger template and have worked out exactly what I want. When I mentioned it to GJ he had the typical male reaction of "why" and "not if it costs money". He seems to think that if I borrowed a book from the library I could figure it out and do it myself LOL, LOL again!

Blue Bird blogs is currently holding a competition to WIN A FREE DESIGN!!!!!

Click on the link to see a gallery of the designs and maybe enter the competition your self.

I hate ironing

How can one family generate so much ironing? I iron for 5 hours every week! I do not iron linen, only clothes. My neighbor has 2 boys and a husband who is a truck driver and wears drip dry fluro tops and she spends less than 30 minutes per week on ironing. GJ has business shirts and likes those extra nice, cotton t-shirts that have to be ironed. I can't send the girls to school in un-ironed uniforms and Ben goes through at least 3 sets of clothes a day, which leaves me with 5 hours per week of the dreaded chore.
I don't mind the actual ironing, just the time it takes and the fact that I can't multitask while I do it. I was a the gym the other day on a treadmill and wondered if any one had tried to put the ironing board over the sidebars and do 2 things at once?I have finally caught up on GJ's business shirts (note the colour blocking, I think I have a dash of OCD). Someone to do my ironing would be one of my top 10 things on my wish list.

Dinner Party

We had a lovely dinner party last night with Rob and Suzanna.
In the 12 years we have lived in Queensland we have only got the good cutlery and crockery out 3 times. Entertaining in Queensland is such a casual affair, alfresco dining on the deck with kids running around every where. Things that were important to us when we were young and childless are so different to now. As we are probably moving in the next few months, I wanted one last use of the good stuff before we store it away for a few years. The girls were fascinated by the cutlery; "Hampton court". It felt so nice to be able to tell them that they can have it when they grow up.
GJ was funny, he decided to polish the silverware, and wondered why I went off that he hadn't washed it after rubbing it all over with Silvo!
We had a great time, Gj has bought some Lambrusco (Italian red sparkling wine) and some good Champagne for us all. As Suzanna is a vegetarian we did a mix of pasta and sauces. We had creamy spinach, Arrabbiata (tomato/chili), creamy tomato and a bolganase for the meat eaters. Salad and garlic bread completed it. Dessert was one of my specialties, individual Sticky Date puddings with lashings of butterscotch sauce and double cream.
Early in the evening the girls had fun playing hostess, they offered around the plates of cheese and appetizers.
GJ took some lovely photos of us, just before the guests arrived. I still can't choose my favourite, out of these 3, so I have loaded them all.





Here is Georgia showing off her new top, it was a birthday present from her Godmother Fi, in England.

Baby News

No its not me.......



Lisa rang this week to tell us that she and Geoff are expecting their first baby at the end of march 2007.
We are all so excited for them.

Lisa was the children's Nanny when I was working. What started as a temporary arrangement turned full time for nearly four years. Lisa has become part of our family, so much so that she even attended Bens' birth. Lisa videoed the entire birth-I have offered to return the favour, LOL but not surprisingly she has graciously declined my offer.
I can't load any images at the moment, I will have to add them all later!

Early Birthday Presents

The Children were very excited to receive some early birthday present. Auntie Tan Tan and Janny got the girls activity books for the plane trip, a bikini for swimming, and the best-$10 each of Singapore dollars to by a special something.
Ben got a Bob the Builder drink bottle and a new Thomas the Tank engine DVD and $10.00 as well








I got a business card holder with some of Tan Tans new business card inside. Poor old GJ got nothing LOL.
Tan Tan and Janny always get great presents. They even colour co-ordinate the wrapping paper with the kids favourite colours.



They are so pleased to get there own pocket money. I have always bought the girls a small souvenir of special places we have been to. The girls are both lovers of little knick knacks (dust collectors). I want then to have things (small and inexpensive!!!!) that remind them of the exciting things we have done.

Idyllic studying

GJ has a lot on his plate at the moment. He is 4 subjects off finishing his Degree in Business Management at Queensland University of Technology (QUT); he is studying Mandarin at University of Queensland 2 nights a week and we have a tutor for 1 hour on Saturdays in Mandarin; as well as completing an assignment for the company training/management conference in Singapore. He also works long hours as the Queensland state manager.
We, as the other members of the family, only cut him a little slack, he still has to participate fully in family life. It sounds cruel and selfish, but the kids grow up so quickly and I don't want him to miss a second. Luckily, most of the time he agrees with me. GJ is a wonderful Father, fully involved in all aspects of parenting. He was holed up in the office last weekend while the kids had a rest and I kicked him out so I could get on my computer and look where he ended up.

If you have to study, what a wonderful spot to do it in!!

Jakarta

NEWS FLASH

GJ has had an exciting job offer. We have been aiming for a transfer to China, but the company has an urgent need for an experienced person in Jakarta, Indonesia. GJ is a state manager presently and the job on offer is for a national manager, so it would a big promotion. The transfer would be for 2 years only in order to train a local manager to take over. Then, we would be able to pick and choose our next location, hopefully China. GJ's company's head office is in Germany, one day we could end up there!
The international manager approached GJ directly, and as such, until they told the Australian managers I was unable to discuss this news.
We are extending our Singapore trip to take an orientation tour of Jakarta. The company wants us to see it before we sign any contracts.
We were initially very concerned about the safety of the region. The Australian media is full of dire warnings of all sorts of problems, as well as the memory of the Bali bombings and the riots of 1998. I have done a lot of research and spoken to a lot of people and have found that Jakarta is as safe as any other major city in the world. There are places in Brisbane that I would not go alone at night. I have found many helpful people online which have made us all so excited about moving. Devi, Santy and Jakartass have all be so friendly and welcoming and have made me feel at ease. I know that the culture shock will be huge, but how exciting!
The only drawback is that there is no winter. It is STINKIN HOT every day of the year, and humid. I hate this weather, I know there is aircon, but I like 4 distinct seasons, oh well, I will just have to get use to it.

Weather Overview

Jakarta is almost always hot and sticky. Average maximum temperatures stay above 30°C (86°F) throughout the year. October to February is the official wet season, when torrential rain dumps down, clearing the streets. July through to September has the least amount of rain, and that's when the temperature remains consistently high.

I would love to hear all your views and/or
experience about Indonesia and especially
Jakarta. I am very thirsty for all information.

Boob job

I had an interesting conversation with one of my Brother-in-law yesterday. He asked if my top secret news was that I was getting a boob job LOL
I can safely tell you I am NOT altering my body in any way!


Although I do have a secret fascination with women that have the tiniest discrete pin prick size diamond in their nose. I have a large honker (very Roman) and can't understand why I would want to emphasis it. Maybe I could have it done for my 40th.
For those of you that know me, I do not care to know how close that Birthday is... 6 months or 6 years IT IS NOT RELEVANT!!!!!!!! lol

Needles, Mandarin and voting.

We had a very busy Saturday (and PAINFUL!!!!!)
We have had our vaccinations for our up coming trip.
We were having a family competition in the car on Friday afternoon to see who could guess the cost of the medicines. I chose $485, GJ $255, Georgia $360 and Chelsea $460.
Well I was the closest......$530
We have stressed out our poor Doctor. Dr Craig is fairly new to this family practice and doesn't know us that well as yet. He had all these different medicines and 3 kids running around who could of let loose with the screams of demons, and he had to keep it all in order.
We all survived and there was NOT ONE TEAR from any one!
I had lolly bags for all participants, even Dr Craig got one.
Ben's Hep A didn't arrive in time, so he will be back for a shot during the week. Chelsea and Ben had some Hep B included with there baby immunization, so they will miss out on the 1 month follow up round of injections.
We have decided against the Rabies shots. It would cost over $1000 to do the whole family and would only last for 3 years. The risk is not great enough to warrant the cost. We are so lucky that Australia has NO rabies.
After this we voted in the state election and were home by 9.30am.
Dani came for our Mandarin lesson at 11am, GJ is doing so well, he is reading Chinese characters and understanding most conversations Dani is having with us. I am not doing so well, I have decided not to learn how to read and write characters. I managed to count to 10- for some reason I have had a major mental block on numbers. I am learning simple sentences and words quite well.

My arm is So sore, I had 3 shots, and the arm that had 2 needles feels like I have been punched by a very strong fist. Chelsea's leg is sore as well. She wanted me to get the pram to push her around in.

We are off to GJ's sisters house for lunch on Sunday. My gorgeous niece Sarah, is turning sweet sixteen. I am going to do a photo shoot with all the grandkids together.


Isn't this word cloud great !
I got the idea form Michelles Blog and you can do your own here. Its free!

Dear Blog, Sorry I have neglected you :-)

I have been neglecting my poor old blog, but I have been super busy......

I will have to be brief and summarize

• Seafood on the deck was PERFECT. It was a beautiful day, the company was wonderful and the prawns were DIVINE, the champagne was lovely too
• Ben woke us on Sunday morning at 4.30am by vomiting over me and our bed, and continued to "vomie" as he calls it, all day.
• Robbies friend was lovely. Suzanna had white blonde hair down past her bottom, the girls were fascinated. Unfortunately with vomit, prawns and good times, I hardly got to talk to her at all.
• I am still trying to get over the fact that we had 2 snakes with in 1 week. In the 5 years we have lived in this house we have encountered 5 snakes. GJ reckons that these averages are ok. I pointed out that in the 35 years my Mom has lived in her house, she has had NO snakes, I want her averages!!!!!
• We are all booked for our Singapore holiday. We have found a serviced 2 bedroom apartment 500m from Orchard road for the 10 days. Much more convenient than a hotel room.
• I have just booked the Dr for tomorrow morning for our inoculations. We are making a detour(orientation tour-BIG HINT) on the way back from Singapore and now need: Hep A and B, Typhoid, Tetanus injections and malaria pills. 3 injections each, I don't think I will tell the kids about this until 8.28am (appointment is at 8.30am).
• My camera decided the battery's needed recharging just as the guests arrive on Sunday, so I have no photos to show. The prawns were glistening on a bed of ice, the flowers were arranged perfectly, the sun was shining on the crystal glass wear, the pool was clean and the kids were having a ball, the oysters were plump and juicy and every one had smiles on their faces. Hope you can visualize it all.......LOL

Our huge news (which has caused my extreme stress/excitedness) has made my neck, shoulders and arms so sore, I am having to consume vast amounts of anti-inflammatory's and pain killers. It is still highly confidential so I can't say anything about it, yet (too much time with bad posture in front of a computer has probably caused the pain).

I can't wait to tell you all..........

Snakes on a plane...No they are all in my garage.

I wrote this comment on one of my favorite blogs, AMAZING TRIPS this morning. Jenn is a wonderful writer with 3 gorgeous triplets who has a little problem with rats and spiders at the moment.
I think it was prophetic, as guess what I found in the garage after lunch today.....a whip snake.

Jenny in Queensland said...
Oh Jenn, another wonderful post. I am going to do a search in Australia to see if there is anything like Bosom Buddies. I taught my self to knit this winter courtesy of The Australian Women's Weekly. I am finding it very therapeutic. As a semi- rat expert, I thought I would add my top tips. Here we get rats every February, they always live in packs, so we usually get about 5. I have about 8 pairs of cheap BBQ tongs just in case GJ is not here and I have to do the disposal. Everything goes into the bin. GJ reuses the traps though. Baits aren't that useful and my biggest fear is that the rat will die in some hard to reach spot and smell.
I have the motto - "I don't deal with critters", unfortunately the critters don't listen. I must have a huge neon sign only visible to critters flashing on my body-
"torment this person, bring your friends!" I hope the sign is not transmitted by reading my blog......

Luckily our neighbour Ben was home and helped GJ deal with this nasty critter....Ben took it home with him.
I have included this photo to show how close the gargage is to our living area. Ben's bedroom is the first one in the hall behind the green wall. My office is right behind the open door, I am standing in the formal dining room. The sunken lounge is to the left and the kitchen is behind me. There is 2 little steps down into the garage, this is where both snakes have been. This area is where I have my spare freezer and the big glass door drinks fridge, we are all in and out of here all day long. At nighttime I don't usually bother with turning on the light. I will now though!
GJ has just left to go to the Seafood market. We are having a seafood feast on the deck tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be perfect. We are having prawns, oysters and chicken with lots of Champage. I will take lots of photos. Rob is bringing his latest "chickeebabe". We don't often get to meet his many girlfriends, they have to be extra special to get to meet his family/closest friends. I can't wait...