Serious to Superficial

I have been trying to work out why my last few posts are so superficial. I think I am still unnerved by the events that took place here.

I have a little problem with too much empathy. Strangers or casual acquaintances love to tell me their problems, death of their loved ones and to confide in me. On the whole I am honored that they feel comfortable enough to do this with me. I love to listen and can listen quietly or ask the right questions to help them. I also like to talk. As I have grown older I have been able to ground myself more and more and to stop myself taking on others pain. Sometimes it all builds up and I find myself sick with worry or grief and then realize that it is not my emotions I am dealing with. It is still hard to let go of these feelings.

I think the events surrounding the death of all my family (Brother, Father, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles), except for my Mother and Sister has shaped me into the person that I am now. I realize that life can be fleeting. Young and old people die, and do. My coping mechanism is to go "“glossy"” for wont of a better word. I turn on clothes, jewelry, books, cooking, kids stuff side of my brain and zone out of serious stuff.

As I write this my brain is trying to divert the conversation back to glossy stuff, a good movie I watched yesterday, Champagne, and how pleased I am that Mash is back on TV at 5pm.

I think I am going to need a few more superficial/ glossy days.…..